Barnet inom oss

Att våra barndomserfarenheter har en helt avgörande betydelse för våra liv som vuxna har dokumenterats ur olika perspektiv och med olika terminologi. Även om det finns enighet om detta, finns det olika åsikter om användbarheten och nödvändigheten av att arbeta med barndomsupplevelser för att lösa psykologiskt konditionerade problem i vuxenlivet. När och varför kan detta motiveras?

Människans psyke har ibland liknats med ett träd där en årlig ring läggs till den årliga ringen. De gamla årliga ringar förblir, medan nya dyker upp när trädet växer. Vi kommer alltid att ha den ettårige, den tvååriga, den treåriga etc. inom oss. Logiskt sett bör vi därför tala om barnen inom oss, men för enkelhetens skull talar vi om vårt inre barn eller barnet inom oss.

Under gynnsamma förhållanden utvecklar trädet sin fulla potential.

Ett friskt och starkt träd växer hela vägen, så högt och frodigt som det har förutsättningar att bli. Vårt inre barn är okej och vi är i kontakt med den delen av oss själva. Vi har fortfarande barnets nyfikenhet, spontanitet, lekfullhet och glädje. Barnet är en integrerad del av oss och vi kan naturligtvis växla mellan att vara barn och vuxen eller att vara båda samtidigt.

De flesta traumatiska upplevelser uppstår i barndomen när vi är mer utsatta och sårbara för negativa influenser från utsidan. Vi är fysiskt mindre, mer beroende av de vuxna omkring oss och vi saknar den erfarenhet och de kognitiva och känslomässiga förmågor som krävs för att kunna bearbeta och därmed skapa mening och sammanhang i det vi upplever. Ett barn kan därför lättare överväldigas av negativa erfarenheter. Om upplevelserna är för svåra eller smärtsamma, kan barnet koppla bort de känslor och idéer de framkallar och är oförmögen att känna eller reagera adekvat. Den distanserar sig helt enkelt från sina egna erfarenheter. Det är som om en fälla dörr öppnas och upplevelserna eller delar av dem hamnar i den inre delen, det som traditionellt kallas det undermedvetna, otillgängligt i ett vanligt vaket medvetande.

Där begravs de levande och fortsätter att indirekt påverka vårt dagliga liv i form av olika typer av symtom. Det som kännetecknar så kallad posttraumatisk stressstörning (PTSS) är att vi fortsätter att reagera som om situationen som ursprungligen fick oss att uppleva något traumatiskt fortfarande var en verklighet här och nu.

Folk brukar tala om undertryckta minnen, vilket faktiskt är vilseledande. Minnen är något vi minns, men det som förtrycks kommer vi inte ihåg förrän vi har haft möjlighet att bearbeta det så att det blir hanterbart. Det är upplevelser, inte minnen, som förtrycks.

Först när de bearbetas förvandlas de till minnen.

Det är viktigt att vi förstår att det är barnet som distanserar sig från sina erfarenheter. Då, som vuxna, kan vi i sin tur distansera oss från vårt inre barn eftersom vi inte kan ta hand om det när det har en svår tid. Därför kan man säga att en framgångsrik terapi innebär en kombinerad barn- och föräldraterapi, som oberoende av behandlingsformen rekommenderas när barn har problem.

 

För att komma i kontakt med obehandlade erfarenheter och bearbeta det som behöver bearbetas behövs metoder som kan ge oss tillgång till vår inre del, vårt undermedvetna. Här har nämligen hypnoterapi visat sig vara en effektiv metod. Med hjälp av vår metodik kan vi i hypnotiska tillstånd komma i kontakt med och hjälpa de delar av oss som inte är bra, men först efter att vi har byggt upp andra delar och blivit tillräckligt starka överlag för att möta det oavslutade på sätt som vi känner och fungerar bättre. Allvarliga hypnosmetoder kräver alltid kontinuerligt självförstärkande arbete under hela processen.

 

Om problemen har rötter som går tillbaka till barndomen, då behövs inga speciella tekniker utom självförstärkande hypnos för att sätta oss i ett “barnligt tillstånd”. Kontakten med de innersta årliga ringarna uppstår av sig själv när vi är starka nog att konfronteras med våra tidiga erfarenheter.

 

Parallellt med att vårt inre barn får hjälp behöver vårt vuxna själv hjälp att förstå vad som händer under behandlingen, t.ex. i form av så kallade självförstärkande samtal som äger rum under hela behandlingen parallellt med hypnossessionerna. Ju mer vi får kunskap om vad hypnos handlar om, hur vår inre del, vårt så kallade undermedvetna, fungerar och hur vi bäst kan möta och hjälpa barnet vi har inom oss, desto bättre fungerar terapin. Eftersom terapin är kunskapsorienterad talar vi om kognitiv hypnoterapi.

 

Vissa känner motstånd mot att “knacka” barndomsupplevelser och därmed kanske kasta skulden för nuvarande problem på föräldrar och andra vuxna. Kneading är inte bara onödigt, det kan till och med vara skadligt. Men för att kunna förändras för att må bättre, måste vi få klart på någon nivå inom oss vad det är som behöver förändras. Då kan det vara nödvändigt att gå tillbaka i tiden för att bättre förstå vad som händer här och nu och lära sig att reagera på det på ett sätt som vi faktiskt var tvungna att göra då.

Hur kan vi då hjälpa vårt inre barn att må bättre?

I hypnos kan vi lära oss att observera och lyssna på barnet när det börjar berätta, kanske inte alltid i ord utan genom vår kropp. Det tar ofta tid innan vi kan förstå vad som händer, även om kroppens sätt att röra sig och reagera talar sitt eget språk. Genom ansiktsuttryck, gester och rörelser berättar barnet vad han upplever där han befinner sig mitt i handlingen. Allt händer här och nu.

 

I hypnos kan vi lära oss att observera och lyssna på barnet när det börjar berätta, kanske inte alltid i ord utan genom vår kropp. Det tar ofta tid innan vi kan förstå vad som händer, även om kroppens sätt att röra sig och reagera talar sitt eget språk. Genom ansiktsuttryck, gester och rörelser berättar barnet vad han upplever där han befinner sig mitt i handlingen. Allt händer här och nu.

 

Men eftersom barnet i den terapeutiska situationen samtidigt befinner sig i en säker miljö, vågar han tänka, känna och reagera fysiskt på sätt som han inte kunde eller vågade inte när händelserna inträffade som gav upphov till traumatiska upplevelser. Det finns inte längre någon anledning att frukta de negativa konsekvenserna. Barnet är inte ensamt och övergivet som det var eller åtminstone känt förut, utan har två vuxna vid sin sida – det vuxna jaget, som genom det ego-stärkande arbetet har blivit starkare, och terapeuten – som kan bevittna vad som händer och ge det stöd. Det som en gång var för svårt att bearbeta fullt ut kan nu bearbetas fullt ut och barnet kan reagera på sätt som är adekvata i den situation de befinner sig i. Detta är själva kärnan i vad som vanligtvis kallas omprogrammering i hypnoterapi. På så sätt skapar barnet gradvis en ny upplevelse av sig själv, sina förmågor och den verklighet han lever i som är mer positiv än tidigare.

 

Det är viktigt att behandlingen aldrig tvingas genom provokationer. Den måste växa när vi blir starkare genom självförstärkande arbete. Om vi underkastar oss en bearbetningsmetod som försöker tvinga processen i stället för att först sträva efter att bygga upp och stärka oss själva, blir vi bara ännu mer traumatiserade.

Många är skeptiska

Många är skeptiska till behandlingen av traumatiska barndomserfarenheter med motiveringen att de erfarenheter vi har i hypnos inte motsvarar vad som hände en gång i tiden. Det är sant att det aldrig är en fråga om en återupplevelse i den mening som en fotografisk kopia av vad vi upplevde tidigare eftersom de yttre omständigheter som råder i en fungerande terapi är så mycket bättre än de som rådde innan. Men erfarenheterna i hypnos måste vara tillräckligt lik de vi upplevde vid den tiden för att framgångsrik bearbetning ska vara möjlig. Det slutgiltiga kriteriet för att en terapi ska bli framgångsrik är att klienten mår bättre och fungerar bättre. Du gör inte det om det du bearbetade inte var baserat på det verkliga.

 

En vanlig missuppfattning är att bearbetning baseras på att vi börjar komma ihåg vad som hände tidigare. Men det finns en avgörande skillnad mellan att arbeta med barndomsminnen och arbeta med barnet vi bär inom oss. Under en normal konversation kan vi sitta och minnas hur det var när vi var barn. Men minnen, hur levande de än är, är avlägsna i tid och rum. I det hypnotiska tillståndet är vi här och nu och det vi upplever är en mycket konkret verklighet. Det är inte förrän vi bearbetar våra erfarenheter som de blir till minnen. Vi kan då komma ihåg dem, men de spelar inte längre en aktiv roll i vårt dagliga liv och påverkar därför inte oss på ett negativt sätt.

 

Om våra erfarenheter är tillgängliga i ett normalt vaket tillstånd av medvetande, finns det ingen anledning att gå djupare, t.ex. med hjälp av hypnos. När det gäller förtryckta erfarenheter är situationen annorlunda. För att komma i kontakt med dem och kunna bearbeta dem, måste vi gå djupare in i oss själva. Om det gäller traumatiska upplevelser i barndomen är detta inte bara positivt, utan kan vara absolut avgörande för att uppnå varaktiga resultat.

Jonas Sandberg

 

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Relaterad artikel

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